[ He's thankful for the fact that there's no questions on what home is and he has to know why that's the case without thinking too hard about it. It's not as if he was teasing Sam for no reason whatsoever - they've talked, the two of them, Sam and Kate, and Dean isn't jealous so much as he wishes he knew how to speak about anything anymore. Words have suddenly become frozen in mid air between him and everyone and Dean feels like a wreck, as if his mind was handed away without his permission. Trying to verbalize a single thing is like finding himself entwined with his own foul carnage and it's one more useless attempt to find himself.
Another shot is pounded by Dean, another chaser gone down and Dean wouldn't care if they were quips or jokes or softly offered gestures that she's giving. All he knows is that he doesn't know how to speak or react or be himself anymore but he's been lost since the second he stepped foot in these damned caves.
All he wants is to go home, but now he has to wonder if that would even help. If that would take back the moment he was forced to step back and wonder if he had always been all these things, and if he'd just never noticed.
It's Dean's turn to look away, to people watch, or more like stare at anything that isn't Kate, the warm blur of alcohol finally starting to make an entrance. Dean can't even pull apart his own threads and yet everyone seems to know better than him and it's insane, it hurts, it makes him feel like he's battling far more than the Mark and he just doesn't know where to turn. There's no part of him left in his own access and it's turned him inside out. ]
Not like there's anything else. [ Except Cas - the words are so obvious they make even Dean cringe. ]
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Another shot is pounded by Dean, another chaser gone down and Dean wouldn't care if they were quips or jokes or softly offered gestures that she's giving. All he knows is that he doesn't know how to speak or react or be himself anymore but he's been lost since the second he stepped foot in these damned caves.
All he wants is to go home, but now he has to wonder if that would even help. If that would take back the moment he was forced to step back and wonder if he had always been all these things, and if he'd just never noticed.
It's Dean's turn to look away, to people watch, or more like stare at anything that isn't Kate, the warm blur of alcohol finally starting to make an entrance. Dean can't even pull apart his own threads and yet everyone seems to know better than him and it's insane, it hurts, it makes him feel like he's battling far more than the Mark and he just doesn't know where to turn. There's no part of him left in his own access and it's turned him inside out. ]
Not like there's anything else. [ Except Cas - the words are so obvious they make even Dean cringe. ]