[ Words never are easy. They're only ever pulled out from the mouth like wisdom teeth without anesthetic and every time it hurts just as much. She's left far too many things unsaid in her life because of it and trying to change that comes in stops and starts of too much and not enough said, comes with that never-changing urge to stop dead halfway through and wrap those layers around her heart again.
The answer she gets, unlike the last, does get her full attention, earns a flicker of surprise that crosses her face and disappears into nothingness quickly enough that it could have been imagined if it wasn't for the fact that whatever neutral expression she usually defaults to is decidedly not there, is replaced by something cagier and more melancholy.
Nothing else, when they both know he isn't here alone - that his brother's here, that Cas is - and it's painful to admit, it's always painful to admit that she can never really stop being jealous of the people down here who have their loved ones from home by their sides, no matter how many reasons she lists that it's better to be anywhere but shithole cavetown. ] Or like you're by yourself. [ Those words could be saccharine, could be pure after school special if said the right way. But instead they're said after three shots in a row without a chaser and can't properly shake the bitterness that's crept into her mind. ]
no subject
The answer she gets, unlike the last, does get her full attention, earns a flicker of surprise that crosses her face and disappears into nothingness quickly enough that it could have been imagined if it wasn't for the fact that whatever neutral expression she usually defaults to is decidedly not there, is replaced by something cagier and more melancholy.
Nothing else, when they both know he isn't here alone - that his brother's here, that Cas is - and it's painful to admit, it's always painful to admit that she can never really stop being jealous of the people down here who have their loved ones from home by their sides, no matter how many reasons she lists that it's better to be anywhere but shithole cavetown. ] Or like you're by yourself. [ Those words could be saccharine, could be pure after school special if said the right way. But instead they're said after three shots in a row without a chaser and can't properly shake the bitterness that's crept into her mind. ]