[ Dean lifts his head minutely and quirks it to the side and thinks that Sam has changed a hundred ways to Sunday and it's nobody's fault but his own. If he hadn't- if only- if he could've- he should have gone it alone. All those years ago, he should have left Sammy the hell alone, should have let him walk the footsteps he needed to walk to save his life and yet here they are. Dean changed Sam in all the ways he was never meant to be changed and just like everything, all those mistakes, those dripping failures can be traced back to him. He led Sam away from the college, the life of his dreams, and he took Sammy back from all his happiness. All his dogs and his girls and his many lives that should have been led without all his discontent.
Dean warped those paths, Dean got it wrong, Dean changed the world until it was all lost in his hands - he was the righteous man who fucked it all up and nothing will ever take that back the way it should be given. ]
If you're gonna, might as well do it for the better.
[ It's an offering, one of those big brother things. He's not gonna ruffle her hair or tell her 'go ahead, i trust you enough' but it's something akin to that. A willingness to accept this into their lives as if he has any control over it - he doesn't. But he still thinks he has a say sometimes, thinks he can put his foot into the door before it shuts permanently into his face and he doesn't. He has no words, no true offerings, but he can still say his piece. That he doesn't mind it, thinks it's a good thing, a needed thing- Sammy deserves this. This happiness, this piece of mind away from their own breed of devastation.
Sam deserves it because hell, how many times has Dean taken it away? How many times has their life stolen it, refused to give it back, kept them from having the things they could never have dreamed of, never touched. If Sam can glimpse it, can rest his fingers upon it for even a moment, than that's alright. Deserved even, and Dean just wants Sammy to have it, to hold it, to keep it. For long enough to count. ]
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djafklasd fuck themmmm
Date: 2016-08-06 09:17 pm (UTC)[ Dean lifts his head minutely and quirks it to the side and thinks that Sam has changed a hundred ways to Sunday and it's nobody's fault but his own. If he hadn't- if only- if he could've- he should have gone it alone. All those years ago, he should have left Sammy the hell alone, should have let him walk the footsteps he needed to walk to save his life and yet here they are. Dean changed Sam in all the ways he was never meant to be changed and just like everything, all those mistakes, those dripping failures can be traced back to him. He led Sam away from the college, the life of his dreams, and he took Sammy back from all his happiness. All his dogs and his girls and his many lives that should have been led without all his discontent.
Dean warped those paths, Dean got it wrong, Dean changed the world until it was all lost in his hands - he was the righteous man who fucked it all up and nothing will ever take that back the way it should be given. ]
If you're gonna, might as well do it for the better.
[ It's an offering, one of those big brother things. He's not gonna ruffle her hair or tell her 'go ahead, i trust you enough' but it's something akin to that. A willingness to accept this into their lives as if he has any control over it - he doesn't. But he still thinks he has a say sometimes, thinks he can put his foot into the door before it shuts permanently into his face and he doesn't. He has no words, no true offerings, but he can still say his piece. That he doesn't mind it, thinks it's a good thing, a needed thing- Sammy deserves this. This happiness, this piece of mind away from their own breed of devastation.
Sam deserves it because hell, how many times has Dean taken it away? How many times has their life stolen it, refused to give it back, kept them from having the things they could never have dreamed of, never touched. If Sam can glimpse it, can rest his fingers upon it for even a moment, than that's alright. Deserved even, and Dean just wants Sammy to have it, to hold it, to keep it. For long enough to count. ]