[ That... seems even more impossible than trying to prevent him losing his optimism in the first place. Not just because he's infinitely a better person than she is already, but-
Well, she still doesn't know if she trusts herself enough to manage something like that. Every part of her that wants to try is still at war with all the old habits and parts that wear distance like armour and only want to concentrate on all the bad things. On the things she couldn't do before so why would it begin now?
But she wants to try more than she thought she ever could. It smoulders deep in her chest in the same way that determination to take on Dagny's apprenticeship did - the kind of thing that makes Kate grit her teeth and try to ignore the warring, rather than anything else. She wants this, wants her own mind to stop overthinking everything and just let them be for a while. Maybe she can stop this self-imposed exile that she's - consciously or not - been doing for years. Be a little bit selfish, but in a better way than usual.
She doesn't bother to say anything to that, just pours them both a shot and downs hers, silent until; ] If anyone I know turns up, tell 'em nowt. [ It's all been so serious that she needs to joke a little. And joking at her expense is a good enough way to do it.
(Seriously though? If Carl or Alicia turn up, she's never hearing the end of it.) ]
seriously how dare they do this????
Well, she still doesn't know if she trusts herself enough to manage something like that. Every part of her that wants to try is still at war with all the old habits and parts that wear distance like armour and only want to concentrate on all the bad things. On the things she couldn't do before so why would it begin now?
But she wants to try more than she thought she ever could. It smoulders deep in her chest in the same way that determination to take on Dagny's apprenticeship did - the kind of thing that makes Kate grit her teeth and try to ignore the warring, rather than anything else. She wants this, wants her own mind to stop overthinking everything and just let them be for a while. Maybe she can stop this self-imposed exile that she's - consciously or not - been doing for years. Be a little bit selfish, but in a better way than usual.
She doesn't bother to say anything to that, just pours them both a shot and downs hers, silent until; ] If anyone I know turns up, tell 'em nowt. [ It's all been so serious that she needs to joke a little. And joking at her expense is a good enough way to do it.
(Seriously though? If Carl or Alicia turn up, she's never hearing the end of it.) ]