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Entry tags:
| hadriel. inbox.
you have reached the inbox of Kate Galloway. Leave a message.
status: [ available ]
location(s): [ spiral 2, house 1404 // the clinic ]
text. voice. video. action.
you have reached the inbox of Kate Galloway. Leave a message.
status: [ available ]
location(s): [ spiral 2, house 1404 // the clinic ]
text. voice. video. action.
[ hello to you too. She is obviously grouchy as all hell when she picks up, drained and still feeling the gut-clenching effects of the guilt seeping across the eighth floor of spire four. ]
Abandoned shop. Near t'river. [ her accent comes across stronger than usual right now. She's really not feeling like being completely comprehensible. Way too much effort. ]
Abandoned shop. Near t'river. [ her accent comes across stronger than usual right now. She's really not feeling like being completely comprehensible. Way too much effort. ]
Give me a minute. [ it is practically a growl, no usual pretence of trying to hide her impatience or frustration at the way her brain keeps clinging to the words the monster planted in her head in a perfect imitation of her mother's voice, of her uncle's. She needs to get herself back together before she makes her next move,
... And there's one place worrying her more than the guilt in her gut. ] ... Shit. I have t' check the clinic. [ she has no idea if the monsters will descend there too, but she expects it to happen and then what? If the clinic gets destroyed, then what? And wher was her boss and was he still himself?
Fuck. The sound of Kate standing up is easily audible, because she practically springs to her feet at the thought of what could be happening. ]
... And there's one place worrying her more than the guilt in her gut. ] ... Shit. I have t' check the clinic. [ she has no idea if the monsters will descend there too, but she expects it to happen and then what? If the clinic gets destroyed, then what? And wher was her boss and was he still himself?
Fuck. The sound of Kate standing up is easily audible, because she practically springs to her feet at the thought of what could be happening. ]
Did I miss much?
[ at this point in time, Sharon does not trust her voice to not betray the twisted feelings of guilt in her heart, and stomach and lungs. she feels sick with it, worse than she'd had waking up in Hope's temple, worse than coming home to Fear's stupid, stupid fucking gift (a thank you, he gave her a fucking thank you).
she'd really like to go back to being dead right about now. ]
[ at this point in time, Sharon does not trust her voice to not betray the twisted feelings of guilt in her heart, and stomach and lungs. she feels sick with it, worse than she'd had waking up in Hope's temple, worse than coming home to Fear's stupid, stupid fucking gift (a thank you, he gave her a fucking thank you).
she'd really like to go back to being dead right about now. ]
[ a sick, dark satisfaction rises within her at the first text, though the guilt does it's best attempt to quell it. she hopes it causes as much hurt and pain as they've caused her.
may it linger like a dark, ugly bruise. ]
Good.
[ and then: ] I wouldn't have cared what you said to them about me. Fuck, I'd have taken the blame, Kate.
may it linger like a dark, ugly bruise. ]
Good.
[ and then: ] I wouldn't have cared what you said to them about me. Fuck, I'd have taken the blame, Kate.
[ To be honest, the option crossed her mind, but it went as quickly as it came. Code of destructive beings, or something. ]
It wasn't like they didn't already know you were involved. [ Considering the whole... network thing. ] No point in selling you out when you weren't even there to say anything for yourself.
It wasn't like they didn't already know you were involved. [ Considering the whole... network thing. ] No point in selling you out when you weren't even there to say anything for yourself.
We did what we could with what we had. [ she doesn't believe that entirely right now, but if she repeats it enough, maybe it'll come true? ] This place doesn't work like the worlds we're used to. [ no matter how eerily familiar being underground is. things are different. maybe sharon's power would have done something different, something good. ]
It sounds like bullshit. [ like excuses for their failure. they did what they could, but they should have done more. this place doesn't work like the world they're used to, but they should have been prepared. they were not prepared.
sharon did not prepare anyone for what would happen. ] We failed, Kate. We failed everyone.
I failed everyone. [ but she feels she failed Bianca and Kate, especially. ]
sharon did not prepare anyone for what would happen. ] We failed, Kate. We failed everyone.
I failed everyone. [ but she feels she failed Bianca and Kate, especially. ]
[ it does, and kate knows it. on some level, she knows it, no matter how often she repeats those words to herself like a mantra. it's never worked before, has it? saying they were doing the right thing didn't make it the right thing. saying they did what they could is absolute bullshit, because kate knows they needed more time, that they needed a real plan and real research, not a half-rushed enchantment created by an exhausted person who hadn't taken the right amount of time to understand the power she should be controlling.
really, the fault lay with her for not explaining this well enough, for not being the voice of reason in the entire plot. wasn't she supposed to keep a cool head at work? isn't that what Dagny spent seven years drilling into her head? not to panic? not to lose sight of the facts? ]
Aye. We did, It was stupid and unplanned and I should know better than to try shit like that by now. Anything you did was managable until I made it worse. [ plenty of blame to go around. so stop that, sharon. ]
really, the fault lay with her for not explaining this well enough, for not being the voice of reason in the entire plot. wasn't she supposed to keep a cool head at work? isn't that what Dagny spent seven years drilling into her head? not to panic? not to lose sight of the facts? ]
Aye. We did, It was stupid and unplanned and I should know better than to try shit like that by now. Anything you did was managable until I made it worse. [ plenty of blame to go around. so stop that, sharon. ]
We were stupid. [ They both should have known better, but it's hard to see clearly when what little life you've known has sucked out from beneath your feet, and then dangled in front of you always just out of reach. Their lives have been taken from them, and who can really blame them for trying to take them back, even if it's just a piece. ]
But I want you to know that I... I really appreciate what you tried to do. You did more than a lot of other people were willing to. You tried.
Thank you for that, even though it was dumb.
But I want you to know that I... I really appreciate what you tried to do. You did more than a lot of other people were willing to. You tried.
Thank you for that, even though it was dumb.
You don't hate it down here because of the gods, do you? [ it's likely some part, but Sharon gets the feeling that's hardly it. she knows there's a few people with claustrophobia, and it took her several weeks to adjust to the cave sky, but as long as she doesn't look up or think about it, she can easily pretend it's not as confining as it really is. ]
[ there's something about a fuck up of this magnitude, shared between people, that makes it impossible to lie about anything. no secrets, even without sorrow's guilt adding to the mix.
but describing this is difficult when kate isn't sure she fully understands the effects of hadriel on herself. when she doesn't fully know how to describe this to herself, never mind someone else.
she taps on her keys for a few minutes, and decides to go with the facts. ]
...
The work I used to do [ long before now, long ago when the thought of working in a constructive capacity seemed completely foreign. ] had me going underground a lot. Fighting things. Killing them, usually. We wiped out entire communities.
Couldn't take it any more. Left. Spent years away from it all, started feeling better.
[ had it all violently ripped away. ]
but describing this is difficult when kate isn't sure she fully understands the effects of hadriel on herself. when she doesn't fully know how to describe this to herself, never mind someone else.
she taps on her keys for a few minutes, and decides to go with the facts. ]
...
The work I used to do [ long before now, long ago when the thought of working in a constructive capacity seemed completely foreign. ] had me going underground a lot. Fighting things. Killing them, usually. We wiped out entire communities.
Couldn't take it any more. Left. Spent years away from it all, started feeling better.
[ had it all violently ripped away. ]
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