[Glacius' one intact mandible twitches-- a little physical tell of unease, or perhaps frustration. It is a foreign feeling to experience with Kate; for all intents and purposes, this is their first point of dissonance, and no matter how he feels he wants to handle it with grace.] The only reason the gods are keeping us alive is because they want to feed off of us, Kate. They are not our friends. They do not care. They are not even remotely humane about their efforts... and if we do not find a way to deal with them, then there is a very good chance that the death toll at the hands of the gods will be higher than what it would be at the hands of the Null.
[Glacius shakes his head, his fingers tensing, hands clenching into fists.] How many have we lost to the gods already, after all? If a way is presented to deal with both them and the Null we must take it. We will not see liberation from any of this--imprisonment or torture--any other way, and I will not veer from my efforts to provide you with something more. Something better.
( She sees it, and for all the awkward moments and lectures that have been had when she died, or did something stupid, this is different. She promised Faith, promised herself that she wouldn't let the gods die simply because they had to go to extremes to save themselves. )
And when they're both gone? ( The irritation ticks into her voice before she can control it, characteristic fidgeting and shifting stilling as her arms fold. Try to calm down, Kate.
She breathes before she speaks again. ) We dunno shit about the Door, or where we are. Gods're assholes, but we're screwed without 'em.
( It's an attempt to appeal to the logical side more than anything. She can't disagree with the shit the gods pull being awful at its worst, but they're the best option the residents have right now. )
When they're both gone, we have a better chance at establishing peace than ever. There will no doubt still be the trouble-makers, those with a taste for violence and conflict, but it will be easier to root them out and detain them without the gods adding their own mayhem and bloodshed into the mix.
[Glacius draws a breath, trying to keep his stress due to the overarching situation from bleeding into this conversation. He lifts his hands in a sort of calm down type of gesture.] As for the Door, without the gods in our way to conceal it and confound us at every step out of their own self-interest, I have no doubt that an answer will be found. Manipulating inter-dimensional phenomenon is possible, after all; my people utilize it in their every day lives. And while the gods may have the power to affect this environment and even our own minds--nearly always to our detriment, may I remind you--they are no smarter than us. We can learn what they have learned.
I know it seems strange and hard to grasp, but... we can figure it out, Kate. We can figure all of this out. [Glacius breathes again, his gaze softer as he looks at her.] I am just... worried. It is a dangerous slope, feeling like you rely on those who have long been responsible for your suffering.
( Sorry, Glacius. She still isn't budging on the idea that they don't need to kill the gods to be free of it all.
And at the end of it, despite all he says, it really only boils down to one thing, her hands digging into her arms painfully to try and keep herself somewhat centred. To stop rage from curdling cold in her gut right now. )
I'm not being part of another genocide attempt.
( That's really all there is to it. She can't help but draw parallels between the gods and the Creatures back home. )
Even though they have had no qualms subjecting us to that fate? They might be able to bring us back, but that doesn't change what they have done. The gods are heartless killers. They have wiped us out in droves... and they will continue to do so. Do you not think they deserve to be brought to justice for that?
[Glacius' brows furrow, as this hits a little too close to home for him as well.] Do you not think that they pose a threat to the rest of the galaxy? Because I do, and it has long been my duty to not only serve justice where it is required... but to uphold peace and safety across worlds. The gods can reach into other universes--there's not telling who else they might pluck. What if they subject more your friends or family to these vile acts--as if what they have done is not detestable enough as is? What if they bring more of my people here?!
[The big alien's hackles have gone up the more he carries on-- the more these larger, overarching worries, long pushed down, are compounded by his distress with the situation at hand. Finally sensing an outlet, everything starts to come out at once--but as Glacius pauses, pants, and regards the way Kate is standing there, he realizes it's the wrong one. The otherworldly being may not always be the best at reading humans, but he's gotten better... and even a blind person would be able to tell how uncomfortable Kate has become. Moreover, he's uniquely qualified to understand where some of that is coming from given his familiarity with her past, and the alien is about as uncomfortable with the thought of bringing that back to the front of his friend's mind as he would be with someone suggesting he hop back into Ultratech's prison.
So his shoulders slump, and he shakes his head as his features grow weary--beleagured in a way that finally suggest the many, many years he's spent witnessing and trying to allay suffering wherever he can, only to see more spring up somewhere else.] Kate... look at me. No matter what, I am your friend, and a true friend would never ask you to do something that you were uncomfortable with. All that I am asking is that you understand my plight. I do not wish us to come to conflict over this... but I cannot stand idly by, so that others may be brought to suffer in the way that we have suffered.
( She catches herself, visibly bristling, feeling the hairs on her arm brush against the fabric of her top, the uncomfortable sensation of them against cotton (or something cotton-like) as they stand on end.
... Is this part of what Sweets meant when he said take note of when you're getting competitive? She can feel the frustration with her best friend in this place curdling in her gut, heavy and acidic. Somehow, she needs to step back. Her promise to herself, to Faith, and her desire to protect the gods doesn't need to crumble this friendship.
There- )
Has to be a better way. ( A better way than killing the gods. She of all people knows how distasteful Glacius actually finds the process, that he'd only do so if he truly believed there'd be no better option. She can see it in his features. The weight that comes with this sort of life.
So she breathes. And she tries again. )
We weren't meant to be here. We're... not the right kind of fuel for them. ( She speaks slowly and clearly, dropping her usual mumbled and rushed speech. Each word is measured. She needs him to try and look at this differently. ) If they weren't lying, the things here before us just gave 'em emotions freely.
Could be wrong. Not gonna deny that. Might have been pulling the wool over a lot of peoples' eyes. Just - There has to be a better option.
If we are not meant to be here, then they should release us instead of subjecting us to torture and death. There are those that have volunteered to stay and help them, and--
[And then Glacius' eyes widen just a bit as a thought occurs to him. He'd never had reason to suspect it before, given that the never knew Kate had allied herself with the gods, but--] Wait. Kate--if the chance to go free from this place is given... you would take it, right? Please--tell me you would. We have fought too hard, been through too much... for you to subject yourself to it all over again.
( Her expression's faded from stony to carefully neutral, but as Glacius poses his question it shifts again, eyes narrowing and lip curling slightly as though the question offends her. )
Yes.
( She doesn't want to kill the gods, but she's not insane. )
Long as I know where I'm goin'.
( Ideally home. But it's best to throw in that caveat because with her luck, the offer would probably land her somewhere worse than Hadriel. )
[Glacius actually takes a tiny step back when he receives that particular look--he's not sure he's ever been on the receiving end of one quite like it before, not from her.] Alright--alright. Good. I just wanted to be absolutely sure.
[Then the ice alien pauses again, feeling those little stabs of pain and relief both at the thought of Kate leaving, and he decides to express himself now in an upfront manner rather than waiting only for it to be too late, as it had been with her previous disappearance. It might go without saying, but he figures it's only right if she hears it from him.] ...I'd miss you, you know. It's gotten to the point where... I don't know if things would ever really be the same without you. But... don't worry about me when the time to go home does come, alright? You should take it. Your world needs you. And who knows... maybe if I ever get my fold core back, I can find a way to calibrate it to your universe.
[If he could, then the separation wouldn't have to feel so final. It's a nice thought, anyways.]
( She's scared, as much as she'd rather not admit it. As much as she'll hide it under bravado, Kate knows all too well how powerful some of the people here are - Glacius included - and how far people are willing to go to secure their freedom, even if it's just a sliver of a chance that they won't be betrayed.
She did the same thing, all those years ago.
Her expression softens at that reminder and she ducks her head slightly, pushing hair that's long-since faded to blonde behind her ear, clearing her throat. )
... No point talking possibilities right now. ( She doesn't want to think about leaving him, or any of the other people she's come to care for at this moment, it all keeps coming back to the idea of being killed. ) What're we gonna do about this? Whole load of people just got a price on their head.
[Glacius has gotten fairly good at recognizing deflection when he sees it, but he supposes she is right: that issue is one that they will face further down the line, but the problem brought them to this conversation is more urgent. As such, he responds with a pointed remark, making his priorities very clear.] You among them. I will look out for who I can, but you are my friend, one of the closest I have. I will guard you as diligently as I am able, but I... can't leave Carlisle alone for long either.
[Not when he's sure the separation will be both stressful and risky for the both of them, given how crossfire tends to escalate around here.]
( And by now, Glacius probably knows that she'd tell him to look after Carlisle, that she can - at least - handle herself better than the priest can. She highly doubts either of them made the list, with Glacius' response to the gods and Carlisle's constant references to them as "false gods", and she's pretty sure that she didn't see their names in the network post - surely those would have stuck out like a sore thumb. )
Yes, but... [Glacius frowns, thinking on all of the difficulties inherent in this situation and how to address them.] Neither of us are always in. I have my work with the Guard, and you have the clinic, and even Carlisle can't stay in one place every hour of every day. I'll adjust my patrols to spend more time near your work place, but... there's still a lot of time for something to go wrong, or for someone to try and get to you.
What if... [The alien pauses now, an idea beginning to percolate in his head.] What if there was a way for us to be nearby one another more often, without complicating the work we need to do. I will have to make sure Carlisle is alright with it first, but you already live so close that you might as well... stay with us until this starts to blow over somewhat. And then we could alternate, staying at the clinic or the Guard's headquarters if things start to get busy at either area. I imagine more and more people will be needing medical asisstance as this conflict comes to a head, so if we stayed together, then I could keep watch over both you and Carlisle and you could continue your work.
[Another little frown tugs at Glacius' features, and he gestures vaguely, somewhat helplessly.] I know it isn't ideal... we are all of us people who like our space from time to time. But it might be the safest thing for right now... what do you think, Kate?
( Well, if there was anyone in this cave she'd want to live with, it'd be the person she feels most comfortable with. Kate relaxes a little more - it's true that they're used to having a certain amount of space, and after so many years living alone it feels natural to stick to her own tiny apartment here, but at the same time...
It's more sensible. And she sort of misses the social aspects of it all. )
S'pose I can crash on the couch.
( She can always come back up to change, to check things. It's nothing more than a few flights of stairs. )
Well, yes, you could do that... or you could take the guest room. The apartment has two bedrooms, you see, and I've been sharing Carlisle's lately so... up to you.
Anyways, this arrangement does not need to be permanent... but at least until things have stabilized, in as much as they can get in this city. At least until I know people aren't actively vying for your like. It would be remiss of me to not take every precaution that I could in regards to the safety of one I hold so dear.
So if we are in agreement, then I will go discuss this with my partner; his comfort is also important. I'll let you know when we've worked things out, yes?
[Glacius tilts his head slightly to one side and gives Kate a patient smile, as if he's waiting for her to explain something innocuous or innocent. His own ears aren't structured in a way that would tolerate plugs, and his own people don't playfully grill each other on their relationships in this manner, so at first he has no idea what she's getting at.
But then he notices that look on her face and remembers that he not only suggested that Kate get her own bed, but in the process hinted at intimate arrangements between him and his partner, and the dots finally connect. Needless to say, this was the last thing he was expected to be brought up given the dire circumstances that brought them to this point, and he has no idea how to respond.] Oh, ah. Mmm.. mmaybe. P-probably? I mean — we don't always... you know. But — hrm! [He clears his throat abruptly, likely just trying to buy himself more time to formulate a proper answer and largely failing.] That wasn't... what I was implying when I said... well of course we would try to be respectful, so I wouldn't. Think too much on it.
( Give her this moment of harmless teasing before everything goes to hell, okay? It's a good thing, this is a good thing! ... Okay, so maybe she's too close with Faith. Whatever. But it is nice to know that two of her closest friends are so happy together. It makes this city feel a little more pleasant. )
Fine with it. Just don't know how loud Carlisle is.
[Glacius just takes a good, long pause, growing more and more bemused the longer he's in this conversation.] Sorry, I'm... are you asking me to comment on the sexual aspects of my relationship?
( Oh, Glay. You still have so much to learn about human friendships. Kate has to stifle a laugh, the first one she's felt bubbling up in some time. It's good to know that despite the crap that's going on, despite the Null's bullshit list and their differing opinions, there's still this normalcy between them.
He is, after all, still her best friend in this cave. )
Just teasing. ( And, more seriously, because it's Glacius and she likes to try and be a better person around him, Kate adds: ) How people show affection sometimes.
( Y'know, when you and your friends are assholes. )
[He does. He does have so much to learn, and he never stops being aware of that-- even as he responds it's in a tentative manner, showing that although he goes along with it, he doesn't really understand.] I see. [Another pause as he digests the bit about it being affectionate, then he ventures his own question even more tentatively, as if he's afraid it risks offending her:] And is it viewed as being cold or disaffected if I choose not to comment on this particular aspect of me and my partner's relationship?
( Kate shakes her head, not seeming offended at all. )
No. ( It really depends on the person. Carl would probably try to make it so weird that the person asking ended up embarrassed. ) Wouldn't answer either.
[Glacius smiles at that.] What's that human saying--"great minds think alike"? If it makes you feel any better, I can share some other aspects of our relationship. Like, ah... hm.
[The ice alien pauses, and then goes wide eyed as something very obvious and very worth talking about suddenly smacks him in the side of the face.] We are Bonded, now. I--I'm sorry--I should have told you that sooner! It is just that the circumstances were... not ideal. I was very critical condition at the time, so my mind was not exactly in a place to share joyous news. But, ah... now you know?
[His face tightens up. Much like the Bonding itself, this is so, so not the ideal way to go about this. Why does so much shit always have to be going on in this cave, pulling him in every direction and making it hard to maintain a normal life?]
( Bonding... bonding... the term rings a vague bell, and Kate tries to sort through a muddle of Hadriel memories that have mixed with her three years back home until she plucks something out.
And blinks. Hold up, processing this. She would have liked to have known sooner, but- )
Aye? ( There's a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. ) You plannin' on celebrating?
I--I suppose we rather should, shouldn't we? Things have just been so... hectic lately. [Which is a polite way of putting all the madness and trauma that generally goes on in Hadriel. Given all that, it only makes sense to seize whatever opportunities for normalcy and celebration that he can. Glacius nods.]
I should discuss it with Carlisle first, see if there are any traditions or rituals he would like to observe... but I promise to keep you apprised of our plans much more summarily in the future. And if it makes you feel any better, you're the first person I've told of this, so it is not like I was purposefully leaving you out of the loop.
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[Glacius shakes his head, his fingers tensing, hands clenching into fists.] How many have we lost to the gods already, after all? If a way is presented to deal with both them and the Null we must take it. We will not see liberation from any of this--imprisonment or torture--any other way, and I will not veer from my efforts to provide you with something more. Something better.
[action]
And when they're both gone? ( The irritation ticks into her voice before she can control it, characteristic fidgeting and shifting stilling as her arms fold. Try to calm down, Kate.
She breathes before she speaks again. ) We dunno shit about the Door, or where we are. Gods're assholes, but we're screwed without 'em.
( It's an attempt to appeal to the logical side more than anything. She can't disagree with the shit the gods pull being awful at its worst, but they're the best option the residents have right now. )
[action]
[Glacius draws a breath, trying to keep his stress due to the overarching situation from bleeding into this conversation. He lifts his hands in a sort of calm down type of gesture.] As for the Door, without the gods in our way to conceal it and confound us at every step out of their own self-interest, I have no doubt that an answer will be found. Manipulating inter-dimensional phenomenon is possible, after all; my people utilize it in their every day lives. And while the gods may have the power to affect this environment and even our own minds--nearly always to our detriment, may I remind you--they are no smarter than us. We can learn what they have learned.
I know it seems strange and hard to grasp, but... we can figure it out, Kate. We can figure all of this out. [Glacius breathes again, his gaze softer as he looks at her.] I am just... worried. It is a dangerous slope, feeling like you rely on those who have long been responsible for your suffering.
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And at the end of it, despite all he says, it really only boils down to one thing, her hands digging into her arms painfully to try and keep herself somewhat centred. To stop rage from curdling cold in her gut right now. )
I'm not being part of another genocide attempt.
( That's really all there is to it. She can't help but draw parallels between the gods and the Creatures back home. )
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[Glacius' brows furrow, as this hits a little too close to home for him as well.] Do you not think that they pose a threat to the rest of the galaxy? Because I do, and it has long been my duty to not only serve justice where it is required... but to uphold peace and safety across worlds. The gods can reach into other universes--there's not telling who else they might pluck. What if they subject more your friends or family to these vile acts--as if what they have done is not detestable enough as is? What if they bring more of my people here?!
[The big alien's hackles have gone up the more he carries on-- the more these larger, overarching worries, long pushed down, are compounded by his distress with the situation at hand. Finally sensing an outlet, everything starts to come out at once--but as Glacius pauses, pants, and regards the way Kate is standing there, he realizes it's the wrong one. The otherworldly being may not always be the best at reading humans, but he's gotten better... and even a blind person would be able to tell how uncomfortable Kate has become. Moreover, he's uniquely qualified to understand where some of that is coming from given his familiarity with her past, and the alien is about as uncomfortable with the thought of bringing that back to the front of his friend's mind as he would be with someone suggesting he hop back into Ultratech's prison.
So his shoulders slump, and he shakes his head as his features grow weary--beleagured in a way that finally suggest the many, many years he's spent witnessing and trying to allay suffering wherever he can, only to see more spring up somewhere else.] Kate... look at me. No matter what, I am your friend, and a true friend would never ask you to do something that you were uncomfortable with. All that I am asking is that you understand my plight. I do not wish us to come to conflict over this... but I cannot stand idly by, so that others may be brought to suffer in the way that we have suffered.
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( She catches herself, visibly bristling, feeling the hairs on her arm brush against the fabric of her top, the uncomfortable sensation of them against cotton (or something cotton-like) as they stand on end.
... Is this part of what Sweets meant when he said take note of when you're getting competitive? She can feel the frustration with her best friend in this place curdling in her gut, heavy and acidic. Somehow, she needs to step back. Her promise to herself, to Faith, and her desire to protect the gods doesn't need to crumble this friendship.
There- )
Has to be a better way. ( A better way than killing the gods. She of all people knows how distasteful Glacius actually finds the process, that he'd only do so if he truly believed there'd be no better option. She can see it in his features. The weight that comes with this sort of life.
So she breathes. And she tries again. )
We weren't meant to be here. We're... not the right kind of fuel for them. ( She speaks slowly and clearly, dropping her usual mumbled and rushed speech. Each word is measured. She needs him to try and look at this differently. ) If they weren't lying, the things here before us just gave 'em emotions freely.
Could be wrong. Not gonna deny that. Might have been pulling the wool over a lot of peoples' eyes. Just - There has to be a better option.
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[And then Glacius' eyes widen just a bit as a thought occurs to him. He'd never had reason to suspect it before, given that the never knew Kate had allied herself with the gods, but--] Wait. Kate--if the chance to go free from this place is given... you would take it, right? Please--tell me you would. We have fought too hard, been through too much... for you to subject yourself to it all over again.
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Yes.
( She doesn't want to kill the gods, but she's not insane. )
Long as I know where I'm goin'.
( Ideally home. But it's best to throw in that caveat because with her luck,
the offer would probably land her somewhere worse than Hadriel. )
[action]
[Then the ice alien pauses again, feeling those little stabs of pain and relief both at the thought of Kate leaving, and he decides to express himself now in an upfront manner rather than waiting only for it to be too late, as it had been with her previous disappearance. It might go without saying, but he figures it's only right if she hears it from him.] ...I'd miss you, you know. It's gotten to the point where... I don't know if things would ever really be the same without you. But... don't worry about me when the time to go home does come, alright? You should take it. Your world needs you. And who knows... maybe if I ever get my fold core back, I can find a way to calibrate it to your universe.
[If he could, then the separation wouldn't have to feel so final. It's a nice thought, anyways.]
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She did the same thing, all those years ago.
Her expression softens at that reminder and she ducks her head slightly, pushing hair that's long-since faded to blonde behind her ear, clearing her throat. )
... No point talking possibilities right now. ( She doesn't want to think about leaving him, or any of the other people she's come to care for at this moment, it all keeps coming back to the idea of being killed. ) What're we gonna do about this? Whole load of people just got a price on their head.
[action]
[Not when he's sure the separation will be both stressful and risky for the both of them, given how crossfire tends to escalate around here.]
[action]
Good job I'm nearby, huh?
( Though maybe not nearby enough who knows. )
[action]
What if... [The alien pauses now, an idea beginning to percolate in his head.] What if there was a way for us to be nearby one another more often, without complicating the work we need to do. I will have to make sure Carlisle is alright with it first, but you already live so close that you might as well... stay with us until this starts to blow over somewhat. And then we could alternate, staying at the clinic or the Guard's headquarters if things start to get busy at either area. I imagine more and more people will be needing medical asisstance as this conflict comes to a head, so if we stayed together, then I could keep watch over both you and Carlisle and you could continue your work.
[Another little frown tugs at Glacius' features, and he gestures vaguely, somewhat helplessly.] I know it isn't ideal... we are all of us people who like our space from time to time. But it might be the safest thing for right now... what do you think, Kate?
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It's more sensible. And she sort of misses the social aspects of it all. )
S'pose I can crash on the couch.
( She can always come back up to change, to check things. It's nothing more than a few flights of stairs. )
[action]
Anyways, this arrangement does not need to be permanent... but at least until things have stabilized, in as much as they can get in this city. At least until I know people aren't actively vying for your like. It would be remiss of me to not take every precaution that I could in regards to the safety of one I hold so dear.
So if we are in agreement, then I will go discuss this with my partner; his comfort is also important. I'll let you know when we've worked things out, yes?
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Wait wait, hold the phone. She has an important question before anything else: )
... 'M I gonna need earplugs?
( She gets the very distinct impression that Carlisle is not good with the concept of being quiet. )
[action]
[Glacius tilts his head slightly to one side and gives Kate a patient smile, as if he's waiting for her to explain something innocuous or innocent. His own ears aren't structured in a way that would tolerate plugs, and his own people don't playfully grill each other on their relationships in this manner, so at first he has no idea what she's getting at.
But then he notices that look on her face and remembers that he not only suggested that Kate get her own bed, but in the process hinted at intimate arrangements between him and his partner, and the dots finally connect. Needless to say, this was the last thing he was expected to be brought up given the dire circumstances that brought them to this point, and he has no idea how to respond.] Oh, ah. Mmm.. mmaybe. P-probably? I mean — we don't always... you know. But — hrm! [He clears his throat abruptly, likely just trying to buy himself more time to formulate a proper answer and largely failing.] That wasn't... what I was implying when I said... well of course we would try to be respectful, so I wouldn't. Think too much on it.
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Fine with it. Just don't know how loud Carlisle is.
( Kate no. )
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He is, after all, still her best friend in this cave. )
Just teasing. ( And, more seriously, because it's Glacius and she likes to try and be a better person around him, Kate adds: ) How people show affection sometimes.
( Y'know, when you and your friends are assholes. )
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No. ( It really depends on the person. Carl would probably try to make it so weird that the person asking ended up embarrassed. ) Wouldn't answer either.
( Well. Maybe with the people she's closest to. )
[action]
[The ice alien pauses, and then goes wide eyed as something very obvious and very worth talking about suddenly smacks him in the side of the face.] We are Bonded, now. I--I'm sorry--I should have told you that sooner! It is just that the circumstances were... not ideal. I was very critical condition at the time, so my mind was not exactly in a place to share joyous news. But, ah... now you know?
[His face tightens up. Much like the Bonding itself, this is so, so not the ideal way to go about this. Why does so much shit always have to be going on in this cave, pulling him in every direction and making it hard to maintain a normal life?]
[action] how did this thread get so cute
And blinks. Hold up, processing this. She would have liked to have known sooner, but- )
Aye? ( There's a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. ) You plannin' on celebrating?
( Because that's how you do it on earth ok. )
[action] it was overdue!
I should discuss it with Carlisle first, see if there are any traditions or rituals he would like to observe... but I promise to keep you apprised of our plans much more summarily in the future. And if it makes you feel any better, you're the first person I've told of this, so it is not like I was purposefully leaving you out of the loop.
[action] very
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